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Tips and Tricks Tips for single mums - Elspeth Tips for choosing a medical professional Tips when choosing a tradesperson Tips for dealing with bureaucracies Tips for dealing with centrelink Tips for keeping children safe Tips for single mums - Elspeth McInnes Be nice to yourself. Work out ways to self-pamper because you'll get what you like and you can be relied upon. Don't react on the spot. If you have a strong reaction, take it away and poke it till you understand why the reaction is there and work out what you want from the situation, and then make a plan for how to get it. Always get a counter receipt when you take documents to Centrelink or contact them by phone with important info. That way you can prove you did it, even it they botch it or lose it. Plan social contact with people who make you feel happy and comfortable. If you don't know anyone like that, work out strategies to meet people and develop positive friendships. Stay out of the Family Court if at all possible. Try to get agreements if you can. Keep a contact/ child support diary if there are ongoing difficulties with either or both of these issues. Communicate in writing if you (a) want your message to be communicated without interruption or defensiveness or anger (b) want a record of what you did say and what you didn't say (c) want to force a response from a govt. agency or politician. Organise child care options to give you a break and extend your child's carer circle. Get involved and active in issues and services you care about. Value living in the NOW. Tips for living with teenagers Top tips for maintaining communication with teenagers Structured time together eg - evening meals Try to walk into you teenagers world � ask about their interests in music, sport etc Attend some of their functions � eg sporting, dancing, music, school events Speak to them in a respectful manner Negotiate times they will be home etc Tips for choosing a medical professional Check them out thoroughly - don�t just take your GP�s referral find out from other health professionals if they would recommend this person. Find out their areas of expertise within their speciality by contacting -their office and talking with the receptionist. -contacting the hospital they attend as a visiting specialist and talking to the receptionist in that department. Find out if they will listen to what your needs, requirements, problems are - even if surgery is involved. Make sure they treat their patients with respect. Make sure they are willing to try all alternatives before surgery eg: medication, exercise etc. Find out what gaps or fees are involved in seeing this person. DON�T BE AFRAID TO ASK ANYTHING CUSTOMER. YOU ARE THE CUSTOMER . YOU ARE PAYING FOR A SERVICE EVEN IF ITS BULK BILLED. If you don�t like them don�t go back - see someone else. If you feel overwhelmed as to be referred to allied health professionals eg social workers, physios etc. If all the above fails and you are dissatisfied with your treatment you can contact the Commonwealth Ombudsman. They investigate all written complaints. Don't think there is a fair car mechanic out there. Accept that all mechanics will overservice at the drop of a hat (it's the culture) and many are down right scammers. KNOW the industry you are dealing with - its only about the $$$'s. Even with RAC or NRMA approved dealers. Ask the mechanic to call you and give you a price before he starts work. Otherwise you may find your car fixed and you billed without being asked plus paying an additional amount for some part that "needed replacing otherwise you would be broken down again in a couple of months". If your car has a simple breakdown in the shopping centre or outside your childs school don't take the mechanic's word that it needs a new engine ($1,500) or that its the computer (its never the computer - $750). Even though you are in desperate need of your car - to get to work and to pick up your six year old - and its going to cost another $45.00 to get a tow to another workshop, GET a SECOND OPINION. If you have just finished your final warranty service and the mechanic tells you that you really should have the window mechanisms replaced on each of the doors, and this is going to cost you the $400.00 that you have save on your pension for a trip to Queensland. TAKE THE TRIP TO QUEENSLAND. If they say its the computer, or whatever thats going to cost you a million bucks, always ask them how do they know that is the problem. Listen very carefully to what they say. Note if they are trying to baffle you with technical terms (ie, you still don't understand what the problem is) - this is a sure sign they are scamming you. Be a member of the RAC/NRMA. They offer invaluable advice and assistance. Tips for choosing a tradesperson Contracts are binding � you cannot break them unless there are exceptional circumstances If possible obtain several quotes before you decide who can do the work. Make sure you get a detailed written quotation for any repair, maintenance or construction work Ensure that the person who does the work is licensed with the appropriate authority Don�t be rushed or intimidated into making a decision � remember it is your choice and your money. Don�t pay a deposit unless you are really sure you want the work carried out by that person. Remember - if you change your mind you are not automatically entitled to get your money back. Make sure you know the total cost of any added fees and charges Ensure that you get any promises including guarantees and warrantees in writing You have a right to have all documents fully explained to you by the trades person - however it is your responsibility to read and understand all documents before you sign them. You have a right to a receipt for goods and services you pay for � keep them along with any contracts and guarantee documents - fill out any guarantee slips and send them off soon after you buy. Handy Budget ideas for Utilities Power Sometimes power bills can get expensive. There are many things that you can do to keep the costs down; this brochure gives you some examples. Reduce your use of hot water, take shorter showers. Use cold water instead of warm water to wash your clothes. Leave the heater off and put on another layer of clothes - heaters and air-conditioners use the most electricity of all appliances. Also, increase temperatures on reverse cycle air-conditioners during summer and decrease during winter, as every degree lower or higher than the thermostat needs to be, increases heating/cooling costs by 10%. Clean any obvious coils/filters on refrigerators and air-conditioners Clean windows regularly to maintain a high level of natural light, reducing the amount of money spent on lighting. Don't leave the fridge door open longer than necessary. Reduce the temperature setting of your fridge and freezer to the lowest recommended temperature, around 40C is fine, anything lower than this is wasting power. Keep the rear coils clean and 10cm away from the wall this allows air to circulate around them and aid the cooling process. If curtains are kept closed during the day it will reduce the heat conducted through the windows by half. If your curtains are not made of thick material, try attaching an old sheet to the curtains to add extra block out from the sun during summer. Fans are cheap to install (in comparison to air-conditioners) and have lower running costs. Seal gaps around doors and windows. Keep living room closed off from unheated/cooled rooms. Have shorter showers instead of baths Fixing leaking hot water taps saves around $14 per quarter Electric clothes dryers cost an extra $24 per quarter to run so hang the clothes out wherever possible. Use energy 'star' ratings to help choose efficient electrical appliances1 1 star is the least efficient and 6 stars is the most. The Energy Information Centre In your state provides free impartial advice on shading, insulation and air-conditioner systems to meet your needs. Remember that any appliance that is not in good condition will cost more to run. For a detailed brochure of appliance running costs, call ETSA (SA) on 13 1377 and ask for a copy of a brochure entitled "Electric Appliance Operating Costs". FOR OTHER STATES AND TERRITORIES CONTACT YOUR ELECTRICITY SUPPLIER Telephone Discounts It is possible for people to have a phone with which you can receive calls but cannot make them, except for 000 emergency calls and calls to family and friends who have the Homelink service. Telstra call this service "In Contact". If you do not already have a phone line it is a one off $50 charge. With this service, you can still talk to people on the phone without the added expense of a telephone bill. make a note of the type of calls you usually make before deciding to change to another telephone company, and compare the cost of what you ~re paying now with what you will pay with the new one. Don't forget to consider the specials, which are often advertised in the daily paper or on television. If you make calls to 1900 numbers remember that these will not necessarily show up on your normal telephone account as they are allocated to a company automatically and can be billed to you as a separate account. These are expensive calls and you should keep a record of the number you rang and the time spent on each call. If you have problems with paying telephone bill, ring the company make arrangements to pay instalments. Do not wait until you about to be disconnected. For more information about "In Contact", you can contact Telstra on 13 2200 as there are special conditions that apply to people wishing to use this service. You can now shop around for cheaper telephone calls. Telstra and Optus both have discount rates for long distance and international calls, and some of the new telephone companies can also give you cheaper rates for local calls. This information is provided by Lutheran community care through the Low Income Support Programme. This programme is funded by Family and Youth Services If you are in the market for a second-hand car, have the one you choose thoroughly checked out before you sign anything, says the RAA. Naturally it would be expensive to have an RAA Inspection on every car you think you might like to buy, but you can do a basic but thorough check on a car to help you make up your �short list�. It will take a little time and effort but it is worth it. Check all these things for yourself � don�t be satisfied by what a salesperson may tell you about the car. For a start, inspect the car in good light, preferably daylight. Check all body panels for rust or accident damage. Look for paint bubbles, paint that doesn�t match or panels that don�t appear to fit properly. Check all of the tyres for tread, cracks, and uneven wear, which can indicate problems with the steering or suspension. And while you�re down there, look on the ground under the car for any signs of oil leaks. Don�t forget to have a look for brake fluid leaks from behind the wheels. Check everywhere for rust: Under the carpets, the bottom of the doors, the sills, and under the mats in the boot. And while you�re in the boot check that the lid closes properly and that there is a spare tyre, a tool kit and a jack. Make sure all the doors and windows open and close properly and that the locks are operating. Check that the seatbelts are in good condition, not frayed of faded, and that they are well anchored. Under the bonnet you should look at the condition of the engine and the battery. If they are dirty it�s a sure sign the car has not been well maintained. Naturally, if the whole area is spotless having been recently cleaned you�ll have to dig a little deeper. The coolant in the radiator should be clean and brightly coloured. Take out the dipstick and look at the state of the oil. Grey or milky oil indicates a serious problem. Don�t be fooled by lovely clean oil at the first dip; check the colour of the oil again after the engine has been running. Start the engine, with the bonnet up, and listen to it. The sound should be even with no unusual noises. Check the exhaust smoke; blue smoke can signify serious problems. Take the car for a drive on relatively quiet streets so you can put it through its paces. Try out the brakes a number of times. Make sure they feel firm and don�t pull to one side. Relax your grip on the steering and see if the car wanders off to one side. Listen for any unusual noises particularly when you drive over bumps. Check that the gears change easily. Keep an eye on the dashboard lights for any indications of changes in things like oil pressure and charging. Then try out all the accessories and electrical devices like lights, radio, heater/air conditioner, windscreen wipers, lights, horn, electric windows and etc. Look for the compliance plate and check that what is stamped there agrees with what is written on the registration papers. Check that the engine number corresponds as well. If, after this initial D-I-Y inspection, the car makes it onto your �very short� list, arrange for an RAA or other independent Vehicle Inspection before you agree to buy. In fact, make it a condition that you will agree to purchase subject to an RAA Inspection that satisfies your confidence in the car. For more handy hints and information, follow this link to the RAA website www.raa.net This information was supplied by the RAA of SA Inc. Tips for dealing with bureaucracies If you do
not understand what is being said - ask again, and again, and Tips for dealing with Centrelink Keep all Centrelink correspondence for at least the last 6 months (put it in a shoebox, or file, or a desk corner) and group it by payment type (PPS CCB FTB Child Support etc.) When you provide phone advice of important info like changes in circumstances, ask for a receipt and make a note of the receipt number, the date, time and substance of the call, and add to your Centrelink file. If you attend Centrelink to provide documents such as Proof of Identity which affect continuing eligibility or establish eligibility, ask for a counter receipt and make a note for your file. If something doesn't make sense, eg. A payment is late, or reduced, contact Centrelink and ask what has happened. It may be an error which is always easier to correct earlier than later. If you need to attend Centrelink, leave plenty of time to cope with the queues. If you need to take your children with you, bring something to amuse them while you wait. Check out the rules for payments by going to the www.facs.gov.au website, click on legislation and search the 'guide to the legislation'. If you think Centrelink have given you wrong information or made a mistake, check. Payment rates and income tests are provided on the www.centrelink.gov.au website. Take a support person with you if you are worried about dealing with Centrelink. They can be a witness and a support person and you can debrief over coffee/tea afterwards. Keep your cool. If the person you are dealing with is making you cross, go away and cool off or ask to speak to someone else. Complain to Centrelink if you get bad service, complain to the Minister if the policy is harming your situation. Ask your friends where they take their kids and why always check out prices � some charge incredible amounts and its too hard to move once settled get on the management committee as soon as possible � you�ll be amazed at the strings that pulls (and looks good on the CV) check out the toys and see how clean/new they are same for bedding babies room�s are always going to smell stinky � just check how stinky and make your own judgement try and visit around their lunch time � nothing as satisfying as seeing 25 kids eating spaghetti around a table � make sure its controlled fun for them I always tried to choose a centre that has a diverse mix of cultures, I didn�t want Xmas celebrated in isolation from Hanukah, and Ramadan sometimes a waiting list is an indicatio of a good place, not always though so balance is required. some centres provide a daily report card about moods, activities and food � this is great fro conversation in the car on the way home Make a list of the schools in your area (or the area you are going to live in) Visit the schools at opening times, lunch times and after school to see levels of activity and safety from afar If your child is active ensure that there are plenty of areas to run and jump in if your child is quiet/pensive ensure there are good books in the library and it is open at recess and lunch time or safe places to sit at breaks speak to parents at different schools and ask them about the school � would you send your child to this school if you weren�t in this area? What do you like/dislike about the school? Does the principal have any control over who is employed? How long have they been there? When are they moving on? Makes a HUGE difference to school culture. Volunteer at the school � canteen, council, reading etc. even as a full time worker I used flexi to read a couple of times a term to connect with the teacher and other kids Find out about harassment policies, sun/rain policies etc What are the Out of School Hours Care facilities like? Try your hardest to pick them up occasionally if you work so that you connect with other parents. Go to those morning teas occasionally (I start rocking at the thought of them). It is important to your child that you watch their performances at concerts, sports days etc Tips for keeping children safe check out babysitters with past clients and if your child indicates discomfort with the babysitter, take notice and find another. A great deal of child sexual abuse occurs while children are with childminders. Caregivers go to a lot of trouble to gain the trust of parents. be suspicious of adults who want to spend time with your children (and sons in particular). Ask yourself why an adult would prefer the company of a child to another adult. teach your children, from an early age, that their genitals are private parts of the body that have to be taken care of. Nobody is allowed to tickle or play around with them and no-one is allowed to ask kids to play around with their genitals. If anyone tries.. they should yell and tell mum, a teacher or an adult who will help. Let them wash and dry themselves as soon as they are capable of doing it. Given the frequency with which adults use young children to provide oral sex, include the mouth as a private place. No-one is allowed to put anything yucky or stinky in your mouth. If they try, get away and tell mum or someone who will help. if that person doesn't listen or doesn't believe what the child says,tell someone else and keep on telling. Children of about 6-7 years can ring police (Tel No), or Kids Helpline (No) or Child Abuse Helplines. Ensure that boys know about male sexuality, (i.e. erections, masturbation and ejaculation) long before they reach puberty. Offenders tap into boys' sexual curiosity, introducing sexual abuse as sex education or normal male fun. They give their victims sexual pleasure before demanding obnoxious, violent sex. They find that they are trapped because they did not say "No at the outset. Offenders then blame them and claim that they are "gay". This can result in lifelong psychological and relationship problems. Most children are aware of sexual ("rude") behaviour in their age group but they are confused when adults (who tell them off for rude talk/behaviour) introduce sex... especially if the offender is someone in authority. Tell your children that some kids behave rudely and know that its wrong. If no-one stops them, rude kids grow up and carry on doing rude things that they know are wrong. If they know of anyone being rude, they need to tell you to stop it. Rude behaviour upsets kids. Bear in mind that children will not tell adults about sexual abuse unless they know for certain that the adults will handle it without blaming them. Ensure that your children know that if someone behaves rudely (sexually) to children, it is never the children's fault. Children think that rude=naughty=naughty means its my fault= naughty means I'll be punished = no-one will love me. Dads must give their sons tenderness and physical affection. If boys don't receive it, they are more vulnerable to paedophiles who specialise in boosting their egos, giving them attention, playing with them and making them feel special with treats. Protect your children from pornography and offenders who use children's Internet chat-lines, pretending to be same age. Offenders routinely use porn to de-sensitise children and make them think that the sexual use of children by adults is normal.
Know you don't have to win every argument and that life is about choices. Although your mother may not be the one you really deserved, be grateful you have a mother Drop your voice when you want anyone to listen seriously Be aware that 85% of women stop speaking when a male speaks When arguing with children, remember you are the adult. Act like a strong, considerate one. When you have children, recognise any practice that lasts consistently for 24 hours may legitimately be claimed to be 'a system'. Recognise there is almost nothing systematic about the legal system. Charles Dickens wrote about the law reflecting only the needs of the legal system itself in 'Bleak House'. Whenever it just doesn't make sense, recall it is meant to make money for legal practitioners. Real Life, truth and logic have little bearing on the practice of law in courts. When someone is trying to pull the rug out from under you, grab the opportunity to learn to dance on a moving carpet. Spending too much time focussed on doors that have closed might make you miss ones that are opening. |
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